Do you remember that job I told you I had? Back at the beginning of April, I started applying for work, with my anxiety, I was searching for a certain type of job. Something I had done in the past. Although, I had issues when I did my last job I thought, I could over come it, because I needed a job. I needed a way to make money to pay my car note.
So when I got the call saying I got the job, I was pretty excited.
Then all of a sudden it hit me, the anxiety started, the panic attack started, I took a xanax and was going to chalk it up, and all that good stuff. I went and met with the Supervisor, filled out my w2 information, THEN… the Supervisor said something that triggered another attack, and I was starting to have doubts about this job.
She stated… “Barb said when you worked for beep you never worked your mandatory day”
So I start to think, yes I did… Towards the end of me working my father in law got ill, and passed, my daughter was going to public schools… but I still worked the mandatory days. Then a light bulb came on… and I knew what she was talking about… I worked for the opposite company I had several accounts, therefor I had 2 days that I had to get the work done in unlike the other company. They had one day, so since I didn’t go into the store this Bard lady worked at on the first mandatory day, it meant I wasn’t working the mandatory days…
Thank you for giving me yet another anxiety attack… I come home and my husband and I start to talk, and I tell him how I am feeling… it’s sort of like I am damned if I do and damned if I don’t.
I am having panic attacks like crazy because I don’t know what I should do, take the job and have anxiety over this lying bitch that is already talking crap about me… of not take the job and stress about money. My husband told me I was the one who had to make the decision up… after talking and such we decided the job wouldn’t be worth it, I would have been bringing in less than 400 a month, and I would of had to figure in gas and all that.
Well, I didn’t tell the supervisor I wasn’t going to take the position. To be honest, I was still tempting to do so, only because I didn’t want to look like a failure EVEN THOUGH, my anxiety was going insane. People don’t understand what it’s like to be me, I have several panic attacks daily. I try to not think about things that trigger them, however, it’s hard.
I just want to be normal…
Anyways 6 weeks after I was told I had the job I get this email…
I apologize for not getting back to you before now, Mothers Day was very busy!
As I explained in our interview, Things constantly change. With that said, I am in process of realigning all area in northern part of my territory and unfortunately the realignment will not require a support merchandiser.
I will keep all your information on file and when any accounts become available will contact you.
Thank You for your time.
I wouldn’t have called what it was an interview… but whatever. They say all things happen for a reason right? When I worked for the competitors company Karen and I got into it a few times, I also got into it with this Barb lady… Do I think the support job is no more? Nope, I think it’s still there since she told me she was looking for someone to fill this other store that is 45 minutes from me…
What do I think happened? More lies, do I care? Nope… made it easier on me to see this letter, because it meant I wasn’t failing my family for not taking the job…
I wanted to respond to this email, but I left it at that. I could have said so much, but I thought it was best for me not to.