Looking After An Elderly Loved One

Old age takes its toll on everyone, but some people get it worse off than others and are unable to continue looking after themselves as a result of deterioration of the mind or body. If this is the case with a senior friend or relative of yours, it may be time to intervene. But how do you know which option is best for your loved one’s needs?

Opting for any kind of care is a commitment. Here are the three main methods of senior care, along with some advice on each one, to help you make the best choice.

Become your own carer

This may be the first option that many people consider. Becoming your own carer may seem like the least expensive route, but in fact it can result in a lot of costs – both financially and to your lifestyle. You may need to move your loved one into your own home and make the place more senior friendly with grab bars, ramps, stairlifts and perhaps even install a downstairs bathroom. Depending on how much care they need, you may have to work less hours, which will mean less money coming in. Your social life and how much time you spend looking after your own kids will also be affected.

It’s no surprise that many people are put off by caregiving, because of the sacrifices it entails. However, for some situations it may not be such a bad option. If you have other family members that can also chip in, or are able to care for them in their own time by taking regular visits, this can lessen the burden. Some people may be naturally selfless or have a strong relationship with their elderly loved one, being able to find a joy in caring. Just remember that there will always be difficult moments, and you should still find time to look after yourself and pursue your own goals.

Nursing home

Opting for a nursing home isn’t a selfish option. Becoming a carer can get in the way of other family responsibilities, life goals and create resentment later on. Your loved one wouldn’t want you to throw away your own life to make their last years more comfortable – besides you don’t always know how long your care duty will last (some people with Alzheimers can go on to live for decades).

You can regularly visit a care home and still spend time with your loved one, but not have to give up commitments as a result. Of course, nursing homes aren’t cheap. You, your loved one, and any other family members or friends may be able to chip in to lower costs. You should always shop around to get the prices and services that are best for you – you can find out more on this page.

Assisted living

The happy medium option is assisted living, in which your elderly friend or relative continues to live in their own home, but with a carer to run errands for them, look after them and help with difficult tasks. Most professional carers are experienced, very patient and very attentive – but you should always interview multiple carers to get one that you fully trust (and one that can provide the services you need).

In some cases you may need full-time assisted living, including a carer to stay overnight, whilst in other cases you may only need someone to help them dress and wash in the morning and undress in the evening. You should weigh up the costs in each instance, and determine how much they really need, or whether you are being overcautious. If your loved one is able to tell you how much care they need, you should listen to them so that you’re not intruding too much on their personal space.

Some elderly people that need help will be stubborn and may try and continue to do certain tasks independently, causing injury to themselves or putting themselves in embarrassing situations. There is not much you can do about this, although hiring an occupational therapist to talk over options or getting them to talk to someone else who currently has assisted living may be able to sway their mind.

Keep a keen eye on your loved on to see which tasks they are really struggling with so that you know whether to up the amount of assisted living they receive. Wheelchairs, grab bars, ramps, deliverable meals, monitors and various pieces of technology can be invested in that may be able to allow them to live more independently without full time care – something worth looking into.